


And Give Me Wings

by Andian



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Pining, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3105275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andian/pseuds/Andian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you loved somebody you grew wings. Which became a much bigger problem than Sidney ever thought it would be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Give Me Wings

They were at Geno's house, sitting on his couch and watching some movie. Geno's arm was resting on the backrest, not quite touching but close enough to almost being draped over Sidney's shoulder, body slightly turned towards Sidney to give Geno's wing more space. He looked as relaxed as Sidney felt. 

Something warm flushed through Sidney when he realized that he was genuinely happy. The team was playing good, he was playing good, they had had a nice dinner and most important Geno was next him, a warm and solid presence. He smiled slightly when he realized that he couldn't think of any other person he'd rather be with right now.

Something inside of him suddenly clicked into place then. Oh, he thought. _Oh _, he thought again. His eyes wandered towards Geno's wings, an array of deep brown feathers that almost seemed black. Oh, he thought for the third time.__

__

__They were there the next morning. He'd like to say that he was surprised when he stumbled out of bed and saw them in the mirror but that would have been a stupid thing to say. He laughed as much as everybody else did about stupid rom-coms where people grew wings and then searched in panic for the person they grew them. You only grew wings when you realized that you loved somebody after all so instead of being surprised Sidney's first thought was being thankful that he had gone to bed in boxer shorts like usually._ _

__Not that his wings didn't hurt from him lying on them during the night but he figured it would be worse if he had been a wearing a shirt and he never had bothered to get one of those special shirts that you could wear when you knew your wings would grew. Waste of money, he had thought. Now he slowly stretched one wing, wincing slightly at the pain shooting through them, not unlike the tingling he got when his foot or hand had fallen asleep. Fully stretched it was easier to take a closer at them and he frowned slightly._ _

__They were … weird. Not abnormal or malformed looking thankfully, he'd have been angry if this would have become another reason for him missing games. Their color though was a bit surprising. When he had bothered to think about what his wings would look like he had figured that they'd be black like his hair. His wings were a light brown though, almost reddish when he turned them towards the sunlight shining through his windows. There were a few darker spots on them, creating irregular patterns. It could be worse, he thought. At least they weren't white. Not that the fact that he had grown wings wouldn't be already enough of a reason for some chirping in the locker room. He sighed, folded his wings back and decided to deal with this after he had had some coffee._ _

__

__He didn't turn on the radio on his way to practice. He knew he was sulking but he couldn't help it. He had cleared his bathroom shelf and broken his favorite mug since it turned out that folding his wings was a lot easier than keeping them folded. It felt weird, this sudden extension of his body, filling out room where there had only been air before and Sidney sent some dark thoughts towards his elementary teacher who had gone on and on about how natural and completely normal it would feel since it was all part of their biology and programmed somewhere in their genes after all._ _

__Natural my ass, he thought as he spent ten minutes in the rain, rearranging the seat of his car so that his wings wouldn't get squished. Most of the modern cars had a button for that, automatically moving part of the backseat further away to create a small space for the wings but much like the shirt Sidney had figured it would be only on pretty rare occasions that he'd need it so he didn't bothered. Part of him didn't want to outright admit that he had also thought that he'd buy another, maybe even two, new cars before the need for this ever arrived._ _

__He stood corrected and as he drove towards practice he went through his wardrobe in his head and quietly cursed when he realized that he'd have to replace half of it. He should have just bought everything with button-up wings openings instead of only about half of it and be done with it but part of him had always rebelled against the seemingly standard expectation of the world that someday everybody would find somebody to grow wings for. His left wing itched in a place that he couldn't reach and the feeling of bitterness intensified._ _

__

__He gave himself a moment before entering the locker room. It would have been easier to ditch briefly stopping here altogether before he went over to get checked by the medical staff but Sidney didn't enjoy the thought of avoiding the team and it would probably make a bigger deal out of it than it had to be. Better to just get it over with and face the music._ _

__He walked into the locker room and there were a few seconds where nobody bothered really looking at him, just a few casual greetings thrown into his general direction. Then Flower looked up from putting on his pads and saw the lump under Sidney's jacket. He opened his mouth but Sidney just rolled his eyes and pulled off his jacket on the way to his locker. Back turned to the team he opened the door of his locker before turning around. A few of his team mates were standing behind him, grinning at him with expressions that suddenly made him wish he had just gone directly to the medical team. Geno wasn't part of the group and Sidney wasn't sure if he was glad about it. “Nice color,” Tanger then said after a few moments of silence and that was the starting signal for some truly cheap chirping about color, size and shape of his new body part._ _

__“When's the wedding?” Flower asked, looking a bit too exited to just be joking but then he had proposed the day after he grew his wings cause he was a romantic sap. “We can't be all like you,” Sidney answered, provoking some laughter and fortunately the small crowd dissolved after this._ _

__Sidney hung his jacket in his locker, thankful that nobody had tried prying deeper if that meant that anything about his relationship status had or would change. Naturally nobody would ever think about asking outright but some gentle nudging was to be expected and he had gotten off pretty easy with just Flower's comment about weddings. Not that it would stop them from asking more questions later, provided that the wings would stay. He suddenly felt like there were more than just the ten pounds of extra weight. He had little doubt that this … thing wouldn't just do him the favor of quickly going away again._ _

__“Nice wings, Sid,” a voice to his left then suddenly interrupted his musing. Startled he looked up to see Geno smiling at him. He couldn't help an answering smile appearing on his face and shrugged, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. “The color is a bit weird,” he said and Geno chuckled._ _

__“Special color. Couldn't just go with hair color like everybody else Sid?” Geno said, smiling mischievously at him. Sidney laughed, suddenly feeling a lot more at ease. “At least they are not white, can't imagine how quick those get dirty. I mean it's not that obvious when you have darker wings.”_ _

__“Saying my wings are dirty?” Geno asked, pouting with an exaggerated expression. Sidney laughed again. “No, your wings are nice, it's just that...” he stopped, suddenly noticing the speculative look Geno was giving his wings. He had left Geno's house pretty early to allow some plausible time limit in which to meet somebody he might possibly love and for him to realize that but then it also wasn't that much time and not that hard for Geno to possibly count two and two together._ _

__“I have to go,” Sidney blurted out and for a moment confusion seemed to battle with something that looked like disappointment in Geno's face before the usual smile appeared again. “I should let the doctor take a closer look at those. You know.” Sidney added. Geno nodded “Pretty wings, Sid, going to be okay.” he said and then turned back to his own locker, somehow leaving Sidney alone with the feeling of having missed an opportunity._ _

__

__The team doctor examined his wings thoroughly, watching Sidney stretch them and fold them again before checking if there were any noticeable deformities. Sometimes they'd grew in wrong or grew into the wrong direction when you got them while the rest of your body was still growing and that sometimes meant surgery or braces which really was the last thing Sidney needed right now.  
Thankfully his wings seemed to be okay, if a little bit smaller than the average but he could live with that. He got a bunch of flyers and brochures and the order to come in tomorrow before the game for another examination or to call immediately if he felt like something was wrong._ _

__Sidney nodded, relieved at the fact that the wings wouldn't keep him from playing. He put the flyers and brochures in his locker before starting to change. It felt weird first having to open up the buttons of the openings for the wings before he could take off his shirt and he struggled briefly with it, glad that he was alone in the locker room. His shirt off he automatically reached for the weighted back pads before he remembered that he wouldn't need them anymore. He stared at them, suddenly feeling lost. He had worn the weighted back pads as long as he had played hockey, even though most kids didn't had the extra weight of wings on their back that might gave people without them an advantage. The weight had grown over the years with his hockey, every extra pound a reminder of what he was doing, of what he was trying to achieve. There was still the same weight on his shoulder but he wouldn't be able to take it of anymore now and he was not quite sure how to feel about this as he finished dressing and made his way onto the ice._ _

__

__It felt different. His wings were different from the weighted pads, shifting when he skated, sensitive to the cold air of the rink. He felt slower and bulkier, though nobody else said anything, not even to chirp him so that might just have been his imagination. He lined up for shootout practice at the end of training, felt his wing tilting to the left as he skated and when he shot it was just that few inches off and Flower caught it easily. Sidney skated away, not looking at his teammates._ _

__

__After training he had a talk with Coach Johnston which boiled down to getting a few tips on how to properly stretch his wings before workouts and getting reminded that he wasn't allowed to use them during games. Sidney had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He hadn't just started playing, he knew that much. There were also a few papers he had to sign, mostly stuff about insurance now also covering his wings. He didn't read it, figuring that it was likely the same as for the rest of his body._ _

__When he returned to the locker room it had already cleared out and Sidney sat on the bench, suddenly feeling bone-tired, the weariness of a night half-spent worrying finally catching up with him. Normally he'd have lunch with Geno but he had already gone too, which made sense, it wasn't like they actually outright talked about getting lunch today, no matter their usual routine._ _

__A snack and then a nap, he thought, quickly making his way to his car after he had finished changing. He felt even more tired and hungry when he reached his house, vaguely remembering having to learn how the wing growth affected the metabolism in biology. Probably a lot more than just a snack then, he thought, the thought swimming in his head and he unceremoniously dropped the flyers and brochures in his living room and didn't even bother changing his clothes before crawling into bed._ _

__

__He woke up a few hours later, wings spread out over him, the feathers a huge mess, his stomach growling loudly. He didn't bother fixing them, too hungry to care. Two bowls of cereals later he was waiting for his toast be finished when the door bell rang. There were some people he'd expect to show up and Geno was certainly among them. The huge basket he was carrying not so much. “Hi Sid,” Geno said with a smile. Sid smiled back, wondering if he should care about the fact that his clothes were clearly sleep-rumbled and his hair and wings a mess but then decided that he was too hungry to care._ _

__“Hey,” he said instead, following Geno to the kitchen. “Hope you don't mind watching me eat.” “Is what I'm here for,” Geno said cheerfully and started unpacking his basket. Sidney's eyes widened when he saw the indecently amount of food suddenly appearing in his kitchen. “Borscht.” he moaned when he looked into the first Tupperware container. “God, you're the best.” “I remember when I grew wings for first time. Could have eaten a horse. And I know how empty fridge is.”_ _

__Sidney would have protested but that would have been time he couldn't spend shoveling the soup into his mouth. It was still warm enough, Geno probably having heated it up before coming over. Geno just grinned and watched as Sidney ate. “That was wonderful, thank you,” Sidney said when he had finished, feeling full and satisfied. “Have to feed the Captain, nobody else is going to do it.” Geno stopped himself, suddenly looking guilty._ _

__An awkward silence settled between them and Sidney suddenly felt the urge to say something since it wasn't fair. He should tell Geno what he had done, why he had done it. But then he remembered seeing couples in public where only one person had wings and the looks they sometimes got, how one of his neighbor suddenly had no wings from one day to the other and how quickly the divorce had come after that. And then he thought with growing uneasiness of all the people where both had wings but how you couldn't really know, how you could never really be sure and..._ _

__“Need help fixing?” “Huh?” Sidney stared confused at Geno who gestured at his wings. “Messy Sid, need me to show how to fix?” “No, no it's okay, I used to do it for Taylor's wings when we were kids.” There was a look of confusion on Geno's face and Sidney quickly added, “Platonic wings.” Geno's confusions vanished and he nodded._ _

__Taylor had had wings as long as Sidney could remember and he hoped she would keep them forever. When you could grow wings through platonic love it was rare to see them disappear and when it happened it was almost more heartbreaking than seeing other wings disappear. “So, you don't need help fixing wings. Is okay, will just have to feed you more then.” Geno said. “I don't think I'd mind that.” Sidney said with a smile._ _

__

__They spent the rest of the day on Sidney's couch watching television together before warming up the rest of the food Geno brought for dinner. It was nice, at least until Geno started fidgeting after they had finished eating. “Should go,” he then said abruptly, a weird look in his eyes. “Might need some time alone to … call some people.” Sidney opened his mouth to tell Geno that he didn't need to talk to anybody but then he saw Geno looking at his wings and didn't. Geno was just being polite, thinking he'd might need some time to discuss his wings with the person he grew them for._ _

__Well, that was something that was not going to happen. “Yeah,” he still said. “I should probably...” he trailed off, not sure how to finish the sentence. “Will see you tomorrow at game,” Geno said with a smile and then he was gone and Sidney dropped on his couch and groaned because his life was a mess and his wings were itching. Still, there was one phone call he could make._ _

__

__“Remember when you said that I'd be retired and own ten cats before I'd ever grow wings? You owe me money.” he said instead of a greeting. “We didn't bet.” Taylor answered drily. Then what he had said seemed to have sunk in. She let out a loud shriek. “Oh my god, really? Send a picture! Can I change your Facebook relationship status?” “Yes, maybe and no.” Sidney answered. It was a very polite way of asking who he grew his wings for and Sidney was glad Taylor choose to do it this way. “I'll just wait until they are gone again.” It was the wrong thing to say he realized when Taylor didn't immediately answer. “You want to talk about it?” she asked, voice suddenly sounding soft. Sidney closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath._ _

__He'd like to have her here with him right now. She would probably not know what to do either but she'd distract him from constantly mulling about it. “No it's... it's okay. How are things going for you?” It was an obvious attempt to change the topic and Taylor took it without saying anything which made Sidney wonder just how pathetic he currently sounded. He still listened to her telling him about her latest game, glad for the distraction from his own problems. When they had finished talking and Sidney had promised to send a picture as soon as possible he felt a bit better even though the tiredness had returned. He figured it was late enough to go to bed, just quickly brushing his teeth and changing before getting into bed and trying to fall asleep._ _

__Ten minutes later he realized that that was not going to happen. The stupid wings constantly got in the way, every time he rolled around or changed his position. Sleeping on his back was completely out and spreading them out just meant that they'd half hang on the floor or lay on him in ways that made him feel uncomfortably hot. He wished the utter exhaustion from this afternoon would return to let him again completely ignore any discomfort his new body parts brought._ _

__He sighed loudly in the darkness of his bedroom before giving up and standing up to get a glass of water. It was his way of dealing with insomnia and sometimes it even worked. On his way to the kitchen he came across the flyers and brochures he had dropped there early. Slightly curious he picked up a few, snorting at the titles “Wings! And What Now?” “A Beginners Guide To Feather Care.” “You Can Not Fly.” The thought that the need for an flyer about this meant that somebody probably tried it at some point concerned Sidney slightly._ _

__Then he saw one flyer simply titled “Sleeping Positions” Sending a silent thank you to the hockey gods he picked up the flyer. He then cursed the world and everybody in it when he realized after a few minutes of a frantic reading that all of the positions required another person who mostly also needed wings. He only felt slightly pacified when he stumbled across a few lines that mentioned that pillows could be used as a substitute._ _

__Rubbing his eyes tiredly he thought that it would have to be enough. Before he went back to his bedroom though another flyer in bright red caught his attention. “Frequently Asked Questions” it was titled and Sidney wondered if it would just read “Look for your 7th year biology notes”. It did not though the notes would probably be more informative. Most of the stuff even Sidney was familiar enough with though the part about cultural differences existing about how acceptable it was to ask who you grew your wings for was interesting enough and he chuckled when he read the part explaining platonic wings. “Rare since the concept of very early and mostly lifelong wings proved to be a biological disadvantage during the early states of human development.”_ _

__Tayler would probably laugh when he told her that she was a biological disadvantage and try to smack him with her wings, the same way she had done since she had been young. A grin appeared on Sidney's face when he thought that he could smack back now._ _

__The grin disappeared when his eyes fell on the next question in the flyer. “Do wings disappear again when the love is unrequited?” The answer was a simple “No, not as long as the person with the wings still loves.” It was nothing Sidney wasn't aware of but suddenly seeing it there plainly written made it seem more real. The wings on his back felt more heavy suddenly and he thought that the weight was something that he'd have to get used to._ _

__Geno wouldn't have any problems with them anymore. He had them for a long time, had them when they had first meet, during their first year together, their Cup win, after the lockout. He couldn't remember ever seeing Geno without the wings, couldn't actually imagine him without them and the intrinsic knowledge that there was somebody who Geno truly and deeply loved. Even thought the fact that Geno wasn't with them probably meant that it was as hopeless as Sidney's own feeling. He felt something in his chest clench painfully as he went back to bed where he tried to copy the advices from the flyer about sleeping positions with his pillows as effectively as possible and then stared at the ceiling in the darkness of his bedroom, trying very hard to not think about anything._ _

__

__He was cranky in the morning, his wings itching in places that were hard to reach. He tried to calm down as the day went on, performing his usual pre-games rituals and then cursed quietly when he saw that it was raining again when he had to leave. He was wet and miserable when he arrived at the rink, grateful that he'd be able to bypass the media for his medial check-up._ _

__He could imagine the question he would get, the same every player got the first time they grew wings. How will this affect your game, he mimicked in his mind a specific reporter who tended to ask particularly dump questions . Not much, he'd say, trying to sound polite but probably missing by a mile. That were what the pads were for after all._ _

__It bugged him that he wasn't actually quite sure that the weighted pads would be enough as he remembered training yesterday and how different it had felt to skate with wings. He tried to put the sudden uncertainty away. At least nobody would even hint that they'd like to know who he grew his wings for, something he was infinitely thankful for. That one reporter in Chicago had caused a minor scandal by almost outright asking though Sidney could sort of understand it. Having two of your star players leave without wings after one game and then suddenly have both of them return with wings the next day would raise some questions though it was none of his business._ _

__What was his business was answering the seemingly endless array of questions in the medical room. No, he patently said, he didn't had any problems with walking. Or with sudden dizziness. He also didn't feel like cutting off his wings. The last question made him shudder but it was a mandatory question for good reasons. Not everybody dealt that well with suddenly growing completely new body parts and Sidney couldn't help thinking that this might be a very good argument against the “completely natural” argument. Not that he'd ever do anything like this. Even when they vanished and came back again, they never would grew back._ _

__He got cleared for the game, got told once again to come to them immediately if something felt wrong and then made his way to the locker room. They were playing against the Hurricanes tonight and part of him was very glad that it wasn't Philadelphia he'd have to face during his first game with wings. The itching in his wings had turned into a tingling and Geno grinned widely at him before they walked onto the ice. “Gonna show them.” and Sidney grinned back, all nervousness suddenly gone._ _

__They took an early lead in the first period, managed to hold it until the second when the Hurricanes managed to score two times close to the end. When the third period started Sidney could feel the usual rush, the desperate need to prove himself. He hadn't been on the ice as long as usual, Coach Johnston clearly thinking that he still needed some time to adjust, weighted pads withstanding but when he had he hadn't played any worse than usually._ _

__In the heat of it all, when he had to quickly calculate if it was better to pass or just go for it, if they'd try to get him from the right or the left, when he was just playing hockey it didn't matter if the weight on his back now suddenly was part of him. They tied halfway through the period and Sidney felt a rush of excitement. Three minutes left and Sidney had the puck, making his way over towards the goal and he got this, he would get this thing in._ _

__The check came from the left and it was a surprise because for a brief moment there had been nothing but him, the ice, the puck and the goal. He could have probably still hold on to the puck but something dragged him down and then he felt a sudden sharp pain shooting through him. He made his way to the bench, hurting but not sure why or where. It weren't his hands or arms and when he reached the bench and sat down he realized it was his back close to the shoulders that hurt and he thought that it made no sense, that there were only the pads there before he remembered. Somebody touched his shoulder and when he looked up he saw Geno, looking at him like he wanted to say something but whatever he saw in his Sidney's face made him stop and Sidney let his head fall down again, staring at the ground and suddenly wishing he had never met Geno at all._ _

__They had won in the end. That was about the only good thing that came out of it. Sidney sat in his living room the next day, his left wing carefully spread out, holding an ice-bag to his shoulder. Six games, he thought. Six fucking games. He was tempted to google what the muscle in his wing he pulled was called but he was sick of it, sick of being an adult and still having a body who was fucking him over every instance it could._ _

__The door bell rang and he clenched his teeth as he made his way towards the door. For the first time since he could remember he was not happy to see Geno. “What do you want?” he asked and Geno looked at him with a guarded expression. “Wanted to check up on you,” he said, seeming to choose his words carefully. “I can come back later when then better.” “No. It's okay. Come in.” Sidney moved away from the door but didn't look to see if Geno was following him to the living room. He sat back on the couch, wincing slightly when he accidentally moved his wing. “Is bad when it happens for the first time,” he heard Geno's sympathetic voice coming from the door. He didn't look up. “I remember when I overstretched wings for the first time and...”_ _

__“Are you here just to talk?” Sidney interrupted him and he didn't care how rude it was. A small part of him couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for Geno. If Geno wouldn't have start cooking his favorite Russian dishes for him at one point, if he didn't sometimes touched Sidney in a way that was both comforting and exiting, if he just didn't seem to be there whenever he needed him. Right now he just wanted Geno to go away._ _

__“Actually yes. I'm here for talking,” Sidney felt the couch dip next to him and when he looked up Geno was sitting next to him, looking serious at him. “What?” Sidney snapped. “Know you don't ask it but look so sad at game Sid,” Geno began, voice serious. “ I need to know, Sid, want to know how to help, so please tell me. Who you grew wings for?” The question was a shock. Sidney could feel his whole body going cold and rigid. You didn't ask that. You never asked stuff like that._ _

__“I... what... why the hell are you asking that?” He turned completely towards Geno, not caring about the wave of pain of his wing. Geno just looked back at him, having the nerve to appear calm and settled. “Know it's not right to ask Sid, but I need to know. It's because of my wings.”_ _

__And Sidney suddenly realized what this was about. This wasn't Geno being almost irredeemable nosy, this was Geno noticing, knowing, taking pity on him and trying to let him down easily by telling him that it was the same for Geno. Both of them growing wings for somebody they couldn't have. “I fucking know, okay?” Sidney said, and he was proud of himself for not starting to yell. Or cry. Geno looked at him startled._ _

__“You know,” he asked, voice surprised and Sidney couldn't help a snide snort. “I'm not a fucking idiot Geno. It's obvious.” And I don't want your pity, he didn't add, he already felt pathetic enough. Geno's expression did something complicated before settling on looking hurt. “And you didn't say something?” and Sidney couldn't believe it. “This,” he wildly gestured around, to his wings, to himself, to everything “Is nothing you have any right to!” “Not like I wanted it in first place!” Geno yelled back and Sidney felt something inside of him turn cold at that._ _

__“Get out.” Sidney said, voice toneless with rage. Geno's expression closed off, became hard and distant. He stood abruptly and without another word left. Sidney didn't look after him. He heard the door being slammed closed and all he could feel was anger and sadness. He wasn't sure if he should start screaming or crying so he did nothing, just sat there, clenching his hand into a fist and unclenching it, repeating it over and over again. If somebody would have asked him now if he felt like cutting off his wings he wasn't sure he could say no._ _

__

__They were still there the next day. He looked at then in the mirror again and he hated what he was seeing but he wasn't surprised. He looked miserable. Miserable and sad, and he bitterly smiled at his mirror image. Geno had been right about that at least yesterday, he thought and his stomach twisted at the memories. “He had no right to ask,” Sidney mumbled. Absolutely no right. He felt the anger churning inside of him and he pushed it down. He wouldn't think about it. He wouldn't let Geno make him fell even worse than he already did._ _

__Sidney spent the day on his couch, alternating between trying to read and watching television but couldn't concentrate on either. He went to bed early, spend almost the entire following day and the next sleeping or watching some mindless television, only leaving the house for a brief medical checkup. The team and Taylor sent messages, he answered a few, but mostly ignored them after a while. There was no message from Geno. He hadn't expected one._ _

__On the fourth day of his self-imposed exile he had grown sick of every single breakfast, afternoon and evening show and had started his usual injury routine of staring at the ceiling and drinking a lot of tea._ _

__He briefly thought about sending Taylor the promised picture of his wings but he really didn't want to think about his wings or anything related to them right now. He felt out of balance, the wings either itching or hurting and he took some of the pills he had been given before lying down for a nap._ _

__He woke up disorientated and moved back to the couch, staring blankly at the television, not feeling like turning it on. He didn't even really feel angry anymore. The anger had gone the way of exhaustion and sadness and every time he closed his eyes he could hear Geno telling him that he hadn't wanted this. Why the hell did you came then, Sidney thought bitterly. Geno could have stayed away, could have just ignored it, it wasn't like Sidney had tried to tell him. “Look so sad,” Geno had said. And that was Geno, seeing and wanting to help. All about Sidney in the end still. No matter what Geno wanted or did not want._ _

__Sidney sighed and turned on the television, zapping around, not bothering to stop at anything. There was a hockey game but it was the last thing he wanted to watch right now and he finally stopped at some cooking show, only half paying attention. It was only when the cook said the word borscht when Sidney started listening. She was preparing a pot of it, washing some beetroots and Sidney could feel his stomach rumbling at the sight. A quick look at the clock reminded him that he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and it was nearly six o'clock now._ _

__It was also Friday. Friday Geno usually cooked for them when they didn't had a game or were on the road. Friday was for sitting on the couch, watching stupid movies and chirping Geno for his cooking skill, though they were improving. They did stuff like that a lot, just hanging out together._ _

__Naturally Geno had come to him. “Look so sad.” Geno was his friend. He had come to talk to him and it had not been his right to pry, to just outright ask but Geno had been worried about him. Worrying about him was something that a friend was allowed to do. And Sidney had blown up because knowing that Geno didn't want his wings was one thing but hearing it said out like was completely different._ _

__But it was Friday and if Sidney had kept quiet, if Geno hadn't asked or if he hadn't had the realization a few days ago on Geno's couch he'd be in Geno's kitchen right now, watching him cook. Or maybe Geno would had come over and bring some food. He usually did when Sidney was sick. And then he'd talk to Sidney, about stuff that happened at training, stuff that happened to his family or just about the movie he had seen the other night. It was nice. Talking with Geno was always nice. And now he wouldn't have that anymore if Geno's radio silence was anything to go by._ _

__Sidney suddenly felt like he was on the ice, like he had the puck and a clear shot for the goal. But instead of shooting he was skating backwards away from the goal. And that was not acceptable. Even if you couldn't get the goal you at least had to take the shot._ _

__

__He kept telling himself that when he stood in front of Geno's house twenty minutes later. He hadn't called beforehand. It would be a lot harder for Geno to ignore him in person than on the phone. Though he could just shut the door in his face and Sidney wasn't sure if he could get over that but Geno wouldn't do that right, even though he had left without saying anything after their fight and that was probably..._ _

__The door suddenly opened and Geno was staring at him. They both looked at each silently for a moment then Geno wordlessly stepped aside and Sidney followed him into the house. Geno sat down in the living room and after fidgeting for a moment Sidney sat down to. The fact that Geno hadn't said a single word didn't exactly inspire confidence. He had planned what to say on his drive over but now faced with it he couldn't quite remember what that had been._ _

__“You need to apologize.” He hoped it had been something more diplomatic than that. He winced and Geno's eyes turned dark. “For asking,” Sidney quickly added. “About the wings. That was … you shouldn't have done that. But for the other things,” he stopped for a moment, swallowed. Eyes on the goal, he reminded himself. “For the other things I apologize.” There was confusion in Geno's eyes. “You're my friend,” Sidney said. “And I don't want this to change just because,” he stopped again. “Just because we screwed some stuff up. Can't we just go back to before? Pretend this didn't happen?” It wasn't optimal. It was far, far from optimal and from the way Geno didn't look into his eyes Sidney knew that Geno thought the same thing. But he nodded and Sidney had never before felt as relieved as he felt that moment. “I'm sorry, Sidney.” Geno then said and Sidney nodded. “I'm sorry too.” It still didn't feel quite right and Geno was still avoiding his eyes but Sidney supposed it was a beginning._ _

__

__The next few days were weird again but they were talking again or at least tried to. Sidney got cleared for training a few days later and the team had won their first two games without him though the last one had gone into a shootout they had only barely managed to win._ _

__Sidney went to physical therapy, tried not to overwork his wings and tried not to think too closely about the situation with Geno. They hadn't met again after the talk but they were speaking in the locker room before and after training, weirdly stilted conversations but Sidney supposed that stuff like that needed time. He got a few weird looks from his teammate but to his relief nobody said anything._ _

__It was Friday again when Geno stopped him after training and stiffly asked Sidney to come over for dinner that evening. He usually didn't ask, just assume that it was Friday and they didn't had a game so Sidney naturally would spent the evening with him on his couch. It hurt how unsure Geno looked during the invitation and Sidney quickly agreed, hoping to see Geno smile at him but he just nodded before turning away. Sidney stared at his wings and wondered if he should have said no._ _

__

__He brought a bottle of wine. It wasn't unusual or rare but the amount of over thinking whether it was appropriate had been. He rang the door, two minutes before the time they had agreed on, nervously switching form one foot to another. Geno opened the door, smiling at him. It was a weak smile but Sidney forced himself to smile back. “Food finished soon,” Geno said. “Can turn on television.” Sidney nodded and sat on the couch._ _

__He had expected Geno to go back into kitchen, maybe not so much to finish the food but to put some distance between the two of them but instead Geno sat down next to him, though leaving a generous amount of space between the two that Sidney tried to ignore. “Lasagne in oven,” Geno explained when Sidney questioningly looked at him and Sidney couldn't help feeling a pang of disappointment. No Russian food then today. He had hoped that at least this part wouldn't have changed. Geno must have noticed his disappointment since he smiled at him, eyes wrinkling, the same way he had done before. “No time to cook properly. But I got Vatrushkas for desert.”_ _

__Sidney brightened up at that. The nearest bakery that had Eastern European food was a thirty minute drive away and they didn't deliver, limiting the times Sidney and Geno got anything from there. He didn't try to dwell too much on it but the gesture made his stomach settle. Maybe it would become normal again. Maybe they hadn't messed it up too much. “You're the best,” he said without thinking. Geno's face fell and Sidney cursed himself. “Have to check on food,” Geno said, not looking at Sidney and abruptly stood up. He left Sidney on the couch trying to suppress a groan. That had went sour quickly again._ _

__

__There was tension when they ate. They talked but it was superficial and mostly about hockey and the team. There was no easy banter, no small jokes and Geno wasn't looking him in the eyes again. They switched to couch when they were finished, the plate with the Vatrushkas in front of them but Sidney didn't feel like desert. He watched Geno out of the corner of his eyes. It probably wasn't easy for him to see Sidney here, he thought. Probably reminded him a bit too much of his own situation._ _

__“I,” Sidney started but he trailed off because he wasn't sure if apologizing again was the right thing to do. “It must be hard for you,” he said, instead, staring straight ahead. “You know with the,” he made a gesture that hopefully was pointed at Geno's wings. He could Geno breathing sharply but he pressed on. “You could talk about it if you want, you know? It might make you feel better.” He was being a good friend. He was being understanding and supportive and trying to help Geno and he would ignore what it would do with his own feeling. He risked a look over to Geno and startled when he saw his expression. Geno looked angry, biting his lips so hard he must almost be drawing blood, hands clenched._ _

__Fuck, Sidney thought in panic, couldn't he get anything right? “You don't,” he started but Geno raised a hand and stopped him. “No. You're right Sidney. Should tell you about it. Might make me feel better.” he spat out the last word like it was acid and Sidney flinched again but the look in Geno's eyes stopped him from attempting to speak up again._ _

__“Was during lockout,” Geno started. “Had wings for so long you know. Got used to them, didn't really think if they should still be there.” He laughed bitterly. Sidney couldn't look away from him. “Then one day I wake up and realize that it's not like that anymore. Still like, still want to kiss and hold hands but don't … don't love anymore. And wings are gone the next day,” he looked desperate now, lost in his own memory and Sidney wished he could just reach out and touch him but the moment feel to fragile to attempt anything like that._ _

__“So no wings then for some time.” And then something had happened for Geno to grow wings again and Sidney steeled himself for this part of the story. “And then you called.” And Sidney's inner bitterness and sadness suddenly made way for confusion. “Nothing important, just wanted to talk and congratulate me on goal and asked you if you watched my games and you said yes, sometimes and you didn't even hesitate and then it was so easy to want to you there. With me.” Geno stopped, staring at his hand. Sidney wanted him to look at him. He wanted to see his eyes so he could tell if Geno was joking, was being cruel. “So wings there again the next day.” Geno let out a humorless laugh and Sidney sat there completely frozen._ _

__“What,” his voice was husky. “What do you mean they were there next day?” And that made Geno finally look up, looking at Sidney which such an open expression that Sidney wondered how he hadn't seen it before, how he hadn't realize. “Was when I grew wings for you, Sid,” Geno sad softly with a sad smile. And that … that put some things into perspective, a lot of them actually, all of them maybe even and Sidney was standing almost before he even realized it himself. Geno looked at him alarmed and Sidney couldn't have that, not when Geno basically just told him that he loved him and Sidney desperately wanted to kiss him._ _

__“Who do you think I grew my wings for?” he asked instead, voice sounding wretched. Geno looked at him, surprise and confusion. “Don't know,” he said. “Only know that they don't want you back. It's why you were sad.” “Yes.” Sidney said. “No.” he said almost immediately afterward. Geno was still looking confused but now there was also worry in his eyes. “Remember when I was over the last time? Before I grew the wings?” Geno nodded slowly. “You left earlier to meet your … your friend.” “No.” Sidney said, only to have to correct himself again a few seconds later. “Yes. But I left early so it wouldn't be too obvious. To you.” There is still only confusion in Geno's eyes and Sidney would have to get a lot clearer since a lack of proper communication seemed to be the reason they were here in the first place._ _

__“I was sitting on that couch with you and I suddenly thought that I couldn't think of somebody I'd rather be with right there and then I had to leave early cause I know that they'd be there in the morning.” And then Geno got it. His eyes widened and suddenly he was standing too and Sidney was ready for a lot more talking but Geno just pulled him close into a tight embrace. “I thought you knew. And that you told me that it wasn't like that for you.” he mumbled into Sidney's hair who hugged Geno back just as tightly. “No. It's like that for me. For me too.” And Geno grinned at him and Sidney thought his heart would burst when he leaned forward and suddenly the wings seemed the best thing that ever happened to him._ _

__Geno's lips were soft against his and Sidney melted into him, sighing into the kiss. Geno used it to depended the kiss, open his own mouth slightly and oh, that was more than just acceptable. Geno pulled him slowly backwards with him until he was sitting on couch and pulled him atop of him, spending some blissful minutes just kissing, Geno's hand slowly wandering lower on his body before Geno stopped and looked up at him._ _

__He stroke over Sidney's cheek, smiling at him. “So pretty,” he said and Sidney smiled back. “Even more pretty with wings. Left one hurt, right?” Confused Sidney nodded and then Geno reached for his right wing, touching him at the small transition between his shoulders and his wings. The reaction was instant, the touch forcing a loud moan out of Sidney as a wild shudder ran through him._ _

__Geno put his other hand on his hip, pulling him even closer before continuing stroking him there. Sidney panted, burrowing his face in Geno's shoulder. He had seen some porn were people came just by having somebody touch their wings. But he always figured it was a porn thing._ _

__He was so hard that he'd have to remedy that opinion. His hips moved forward on their own accord when Geno softly scratched at his wings and he could feel Geno's cock, as hard as hisown. He thrusted forward again, on purpose this time, rubbing himself against Geno who let out a groan, his head falling back, allowing Sidney to messily kiss along his neck. “So good, Sid.” Geno moaned and then Sidney reached his mouth with Geno's hand still on his wing and with one last thrust of his hips he felt himself coming and Geno moaned loudly in his mouth as he followed shortly afterward._ _

__Sidney collapsed on top of Geno who just hummed and pulled him closer, protectively closing his wings around him. Sidney laughed quietly. They should get cleaned up, the mess in their trousers wet and uncomfortable but lying here in Geno's arms, engulfed in his wings while Geno had switched to slowly stroking through his feather in a soothing rhythms he felt too warm and safe to move just yet. “I really like you,” he mumbled into Geno's neck and he could feel his chest vibrating at Geno's soft laugh. “Really like you too,” Geno whispered back. “Enough to grow wings just for you.”_ _

__And when Sidney looked up at Geno he was smiling softly, the light coming through his wings painting patterns on his face and Sidney leaned forward to kiss him._ _

__The kiss was light and soft and everything Sidney could ever have wanted._ _


End file.
